Dragon Claws

Beware of Idle Thoughts

Sat, 27 Oct 2007 03:30:26 GMT

As I was recently changing the look and settings of my journal page an idle thought/question came to mind.

When someone tells you "Go F***k Yourself" should you say "Thank you, it is quite large"

If you have not yet seen them...

Wed, 06 Jun 2007 05:58:51 GMT

You really should check out the following URL of CLASSIC images for framing.

http://www.despair.com/viewall.html

The Cat Who....

Fri, 01 Jun 2007 05:53:42 GMT

I have recently discovered a mystery series of books written by Lilian Jackson Braun. What I find entertaining about them is the main character has two siamese cats and all the "been there" moments of how a cat behaves. If you haven't heard of them before I highly recommend, they are available in audio book formats as well. Their publication dates range from 1966 through 2007, 29 different books. For the titles you can use the information here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_Who_series

New record in homicide

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 15:13:29 GMT

Woke up this morning from dream of the world exploding, a new record for me in stress.

Awake at 2:30am because......

Thu, 15 Jun 2006 09:59:06 GMT

For all the reasons of being awake at 2am WORK is the most evil, don't you think?

Let me describe a situation and tell me if you've ever been there with people...

*** Warning if your a person renting an apartment or home and prefer to "fix things yourself" rather than waiting for the professional companies to come out, there is warrents out for your arrest for failing to wear you declaration signs so the rest of us KNOW WHO YOU ARE ***

Picture this if you will.... A renter comes to the office of a building and reports that their toilet has not been filling right, but rather than report it they chose to take it upon themselves to change the toilets inside out. In attempting the renter find that the metal tube feeding the toilet is rusted and it begins to leak everywhere. The pumber failing to arrive before the renter returns home, the renter chooses to start dinking with it again....

Now tell me don't you think that, if you see a fill-line that is so rusted out and so tender that it starts to leak..... then wouldn't you expect that the valve on the wall is equally tender?

Now you see why if your one of these people that likes to "fix things yourself" the rest of us really need to have you wearing "your sign". That way, the rest of us can stop you before you have water up to your ankles.

It happened again today....

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 23:24:52 GMT

Have you ever noticed how the value of your friends show up in how well they make you think or realize things that you had neglecting or forgetting?

I was talking with a friend today that was having a bad day and feeling quite drained of energy. You know the kind of day he was talking about, where the whole universe seems dark with only small and brief points of light, you've felt it to in the past I'm sure haven't you.

So my natural Dragon-nature of ferce protect those important to me came out. I began trying to help him track down in his life where that feeling may have come from and how he might be able to correct it. The anwser came pretty quickly in that he hadn't been out for his normal walks in nature for almost a month.

At first, he didn't think I realized the importance or how much that kind of time can do for a person. I had to go into details of how I knew how powerfully that kind of time-in-nature can effect your deepest parts of your soul.... to explain to him how I knew it, I began to tell him about my childhood... I grew up in northern Minnesota, if you are lucky you may have been to places that effect your soul as deeply even if they are entirely different. Where I grew up there were more trees than people, more quiet than noise, more wind in the trees than hot air, more trails in the woods than paved roads, more wild animals than party animals...

I remember my early teen years where I would during the warm summer days, after completing what I had to for parental jobs, get on my bicycle and go out for a ride on the paved road that ran right along our home....

The freedom of letting go of even the steering and simply balancing with my body, more wind thru my hair than cars passing by.....

The breeze just enough to make a tired isolated soul fill with with the warmth of being connected to things greater than hard working hands could touch, more consideration from those that did pass in cars than inconsiderate bugs catching in the throat....

I don't know if my friend ever has felt the feeling of flying as deeply as he was able to remind me of today but he gave me more than he realized I'm certain.

Its good to be in-charge but why does that mean in-sanity?

Sat, 03 Jun 2006 22:40:53 GMT

Well it's happened again, had a change of managers at a large building and the big guns were called out to manage the leasing office at the property. AKA Me

It's an building with incredible potentials and even the residents that could make it reach the potentials.

Anyone needing a job in southern california? heh heh

I love effecting so many people's lives, there truly is nothing more enjoyable than to take a mess and clean it up and then act like it was a smooth running operation and you just dusted it off. I've done this twice before at a different building, even larger building.

Lets all cross our fingers that THIS building owner has a longer memory. If the universe is fair this property owner might even realize that there is no dollar amount that could get my level of dedication. Only through having people like my employers who inspire my dedication through showing their dedication to me could he get this level of commitment.

Sometimes it takes something from outside yourself...

Sat, 05 Apr 2003 15:44:44 GMT

I read my horror-scope this morning and one of the statements struck a chord in me. The result is me sitting down to write this message out.

You know how some of us lucky people have people in our lives that not only do we love, but who love us in return ?!?! What I realized thanks to that little electronic horror-scope, is that I hadn't done anything recently to really SHOW many people that I cared about, how I felt about them.

YUP just like many of you out there letting the little shit in life take and cloud things up and not take the time for our loved-ones.....

So lets see how well I can put down into words what these people mean to me.

For my partner: We may say 'I love you' daily even after being together for years, but for the record, I love every part of you even the part of you that makes me sometimes want to strangle you. And thank you for NOT strangling me when I do all those things that are so annoying. :-) You are my soul mate and I wouldn't want to live my life with anyone else.

For those of you that put up with me often: Thank the stars for you and I still don't know where you get the endurance to put up with me so much. Some of you really don't realize how much of a positive impact you have on my life. Thank you for being there thru all the bitching and complaining I've done over the years.

For those of you that don't have to put up with me very often because of distance or whatever reasons:
LUCKIES ;-) Thank you for being there and sticking with me, I know I can sometimes be quite the (you fill in the blank). But still somehow I've been lucky and have had you in my life. Thank you for even though we don't get to talk much, staying my friends.

I am very lucky to have each one of you in my life, and trust me even when I've forgetting to show it, or acting like I deserve all over you; I do realize I am LUCKY to have you in my life and that I really do NOT deserve you.

*cosmic hugs*

Oh FRELL

Mon, 10 Mar 2003 22:13:44 GMT

My best gay friend just called me today.

He survived a case of cancer before I met him. He not too long ago told me that he had found a new lump and went in for tests. That particular test came back non-conclusive and I'm not sure if he ever got it scheduled to RE-test on that lump.

At that time, he let me know that when he went thru the radiation treatments for the first cancer, that he promised himself that if it ever came back that he would just let it take it's course and go out and do the traveling (etc) that he wanted to before he died. And although even at that time I told him how much that would ROYAL frell me up, I could not, at the time of this testing of the new lump, change his mind.

Today he calls me to let me know that he had a very tender spot in a lymph node. He was just coming from the doctor, who found a lump in the lymph node, as was going to the hospital for further tests.

This has SO messed me up I don't know what to do with myself, and I know I'm going to probably be this way until I hear back on the results of the test. And the results might very well push me even MORE over the edge.

This friend I have spoken with (at least online thru chat programs, also my phone and a few in-person visits) almost every day for about 6 years now. (that's longer than I've been with my partner even). I don't call people FRIEND easily and cherish those that I do have, as the one friend that told me about livejournal.com, can testify to.

I'm trying to write this all out to keep my mind away from the 'what am I going to do if I loose this friend' thoughts but it's not working very well. But as I try and keep reminding myself and others........death is a very natural part of life, and loosing people in our lives is part of life. But that is little comfort to the thoughts of not having his friend in my life.

He honestly is probably why I have a partner today. After visiting him in-person the first time, I came away with his philosophy of: "if you're not happy with your life and you can change it, don't put up with being unhappy" Thanks to seeing this mindset in him, it got me to take the risk and meet my partner in-person, who I had gotten to know already online. Without having visited my friend in San Fransisco, I probably would still be hating my life back in the mid-west, living alone, and hiding my sexual orientation. Now I'm not saying that he perfect, or that he always follows his own philosophy. I have known him to sometimes try to put up with things that make him unhappy. But it is largely because of his influence that I am happily partnered today. Having him in my life, has made a very very very positive effect on me.

I really don't know what I am going to do, other than make sure I'm there for him as much as I can be. Because part of the stuff that makes it so tough is that it's one of those cases that no one can really do ANYTHING to really change things, giving that helpless feeling in spades.

Wed, 25 Dec 2002 23:10:12 GMT

Merry Christmas Everyone, and try not to let those Grinchs out there steal away the warmth in your hearts this special day.

*Group Hug*

You are NOT alone

Fri, 20 Dec 2002 21:51:43 GMT

I write this message to hopefully help all of us. As much as we all rush around this time of year, somehow we always end up feeling that we've neglected someone, or been neglected by someone. Well guess what, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

We all know that it's a busy time of year and try and put it into our heads that it is just the time of year and we're all supposed to be this busy. The holidays may be traditional times for this-that-and-the-other-thing, but guess it changes nothing about those that we love and who love us. If you have forgotten to send a card or get a gift for this-or-that person, remember the love that you have shown that person thru-out the entire year up to this point, and trust that the person will also remember.

Now if you've been (politically correct sensor)a b**ch or (politically correct sensor) b***ard all year long to someone, then YES get your (politically correct sensor) hiney out there with the GOOD gifts. Otherwise, do what you can or feel up-to and to the rest say:
"Oh (politically correct sensor) f***ing-well".

Life IS too short, possibly shorter than any of us realize until it's too late, as I was recently reminded by a situation with a dear friend.
You forgot someone !?!?
Someone forgot you ?!?!
You didn't get what you wanted this year for Xmas ?!?!?!
You couldn't afford to get someone what you wanted ?!?!
No one cares ?!?!

So (politically correct sensor) F****ING-what ?!?!

If today is your last day on this planet do you honestly want to be giving a (politically correct sensor) pooooh about all that, or do you just want to be doing something you enjoy ?!?!? We all forget this, especially me. But I thought if I took the time to write this out it might help myself and some others out there remember just what is important.

"HAPPY" Holidays (Stress the first word not the last)

The Discovery (incomplete, but updated)

Tue, 29 Oct 2002 00:23:38 GMT

The Discovery is a short science fiction story that I have been writing as a follow-up to The Community.
(Updated but still incomplete)

Copyrighted, All rights reserved.

Main Characters

Patrick = brother of Tabetha, long hair, naturally empathic.
Tabetha = sister of Patrick, called Tab only by her brother.
Doug = handsome gardener, natural well built body
Kevin = 40 year old member of the founders council
Paul = one of the original founders, Grand's closest friend
Grand = pet name for Patrick's and Tabetha's only surviving grandfather.
Kristoffer = founder, first leader of "the community", one of 2 grandfathers of Patrick and Tabetha.
Esmerelda = family walking staff originally belonging to Kristoffer and then Grand, has become a symbol of their family, holds metal focusing powers, seems to know things beyond human insights.
Arazha = founder, creator of computer software allowing home computers to be combined into a global supercomputer used to forecast weather and climate changes.

Patrick woke in a start, "What Tab? What's wrong?" There was no one there. Tabetha delighted in waking him in their youth, over even the smallest of her discoveries. But it had been a year since she had left the community to go to the aliens' home-world. "Not even Tab can link with me over that distance", he thought.

"Wait", the thought, "this is not my room. My room has the fresh smell of the family garden; this place has the smell of a locker-room." His sleepy mind tried to reconstruct the events of the prior night.

As Patrick sat up in bed trying to put the pieces together, a figure appeared in the doorway. He spoke in a deep, kind, loving voice; "Good Morning, adorable." Patrick's mind scattered into a million different thoughts. Doug's glowing smile melted, momentarily. He had seen THAT look, too often. Doug regained his composure first, "I thought you might need something before the founders meeting."

Patrick's face went from surprised to frantic in a split second. As Patrick jump to sitting position on the edge of the bed he nodded a "thank you". As Doug presented the breakfast tray, Patrick remembered why he followed Doug home. Doug worked as a gardener. Patrick made the mistake earlier that year of getting Doug on the subject of plants. Patrick wiggled his way out of that error four hours later. But, Doug's passion for gardening molded a tight firm muscular body from an already handsome man. Even as Doug leaned forward, presenting the breakfast tray to Patrick, nothing but muscles could be seen. "And WHAT muscles they are", Patrick thought.

Patrick gulped down the orange juice. Snagging a piece of toast as he rushed off to the shower. Doug lurked after him as he slipped privately into the warm shower, already started for him.

Patrick showered while trying to shake the annoying feeling about his sister, and the feeling that he was forgetting something. Patrick immerged from the steaming shower, awake, convinced that it was only a dream of Tab that woke him, and ready to take on the long winded founders council. Doug had already found all of Patrick's clothes and neatly placed them on the counter. Patrick pulled up his form-fitting slacks while again thinking on how sweet and attractive Doug was. If only Doug were more intelligent, he thought. No, that isn't the problem, he corrected himself. If only we had more friends in-common. Patrick's mind flashed back to the first time he remembered seeing Doug. The community's festival that year stuck in his mind for other reasons also. Grand left them that day. Patrick's friends hovered over him more than usual that day, making sure to distract him from the sadness. They lead him to the dancing area of the Eden garden where he first saw Doug. Doug stood holding a huge flowering plant. Patrick remembered how Doug's muscles rippled with the weight of the plant, yet his face showed no sign of strain. Doug had been chosen to supply the plants for the Eden garden's dance area. Doug's face showed how honored he was by the request; the Eden dance square was the center of the festival. "Mmm, who is that", Patrick had asked his friends. Patrick's friends all showed their naivety about relationships by saying, "He's cute, but a gardener. You have nothing in-common with him." Patrick's mind struggle to shake their words yet again, as he finished rushing through his morning routine. Patrick flipped the door open, while doing a last check of his long light brown hair. "Don't forget this", Doug stated with a grin. The image of Doug with Esmerelda, the family walking staff and mystic focal point, completely unnerved Patrick again. She liked Doug, if she didn't he never would have been able to pick her up from where Patrick had leaned her. She fell away from even Patrick's closest of friends. Doug broke the silence, "What, you are taking her with you?" Patrick stammered with his reply,"Yah-ess, sorry I didn't realize I had her with me last night". Patrick escaped Doug's home and the unsettling thoughts without resolving either discomfort.

Patrick rushed thru the passage-way. "Is that you, Patrick?" a voice from behind him echoed. Patrick's mind quickly dismissed the option of pretending to be someone else. Esmerelda was a dead giveaway. "Damn", He thought, "I only had a few more paces to the transporter". Patrick's mind raced as his body slowly turned to see Kevin smiling at him. Patrick's grandparents created the founders' council, but still he felt out of place with them. Kevin was the youngest to be named to the council at age 40, until Patrick was given his family's chair.

"What are you doing way over here?" Kevin probed.

Patrick's mind stammered for a moment and then his memory stumbled across the same subject that he had used to open the conversation with Doug the prior evening. "I stopped to speak with someone about becoming the care taker of my family's garden." Patrick commended himself for his quick thinking. It wasn't the whole truth but it wasn't a complete lie.

"I'm sure whoever you spoke with blushed from that honor", Kevin said again hoping to get Patrick to reveal the name.

Patrick knew how his Grand's garden had become a place of great respect and how everyone wished to be invited to see it. Patrick felt obligated to show it to Grand's dearest friend after Grand had left them. Grand locked himself away in that place even from his friends. So when Patrick offered to show Paul the garden, Patrick could feel the pained loss and reverence that Paul felt as they entered the garden. Little did Patrick realize that Paul would spin Grand's garden almost into a legend. Patrick decided after the loss of his Grand to build his home on the edge of the garden with a window looking into it. "Well I haven't decided yet", Patrick corrected.

"But even to be asked..." Kevin replied.

"Ya, but to me it's the family garden, Special to me for that reason", Patrick replied as they stepped into the transporter tube.

Patrick turned on his mind's auto-pilot as they arrived in Eden near the Founders' Council building. The business of the council was the same as it had been for weeks, 'should the community begin teraforming the planet'. Patrick enjoyed it, for a change, he had too many other thoughts on his mind.

Patrick decided, as he emerged from the council meeting, that he would have to look for Doug in the gardens. "I know that Kevin will check out my story, and Doug would take wonderful care of the family garden", Patrick said to himself in his best self-convincing tone. Patrick started down the path to the transporter then froze. It was Doug. The crippling emotions of the morning RUSHED back thru Patrick. Patrick's eyes and human nature took over the very next second. "He is so gorgeous, even from his back, you can see how naturally toned his muscles are, yet he doesn't think of himself as hot, so kind, so sweet, UGH!!"

Doug reached beside himself for the plant. "Patrick! How long have you been standing there?" he said with an evil grin.

"Ummmmm..." Patrick realized he lost track of time, then scrambled for words, "No long. I was just on my way to look for you."

"Really?!? I thought you would need longer to recover from last night." Doug said shyly with a wicked grin.

Patrick turned beat red. Instinctively replying with, "I didn't mean it that way and I thought YOU would be too exhausted yourself."

Doug grinned in admission, "So why were you looking for me?" Doug said still smiling.

"Well as I started to ask you last night, I wondered if you were interested in tending to my family's garden?" Patrick's mind raced, in the acquired seconds of silence. Did Doug really have any interest in the job; Had he just played along with Patrick's small talk; Did he have the time; Did he feel up to the job; Was he comfortable with mixing business with pleasure.

Doug broke the racing worry train, "Yes I'm seriously interested in tending your family's garden, it would be a GREAT honor."

Patrick breathed a sigh of relief.

"I would like to see it first, though", Doug said as he dusted his hands.

"Damned", Patrick thought, "I almost had the alibi."

"I have time now, if you do", Doug replied confidently.

"Ummm, sure I had planned to head home now anyway", Patrick stuttered. "Sure, now is fine", Patrick repeated as if to convince himself.

"Ok, let me just put away these tools and I'll meet you at the transporter", Doug grunted as he stood-up.

Moments later they stood at the transporter entrance to the garden. Doug stood, mouth dropped, eyes popping, frozen in-place, like he had just seen the face of God. Patrick stood, probing Doug's expression, feeling more naked than that morning.

Patrick couldn't handle the emotion, this day had been too much already. "What do you think?" Patrick whispered.

"Your Grandfather created all this," Doug gasped out, "by himself?" Doug continued without waiting for a reply and without gaining his composure, "I expected large. I had heard the rumors of how incredible, but....", Doug trailed off as he realized that his feet could move. "But....", Doug struggled as if he were looking for a word in another language to explain what he was thinking, "This garden, it's, it's, it's like one enormous living creature..... created from the heart of love itself." Doug started to try and break the enchantment by examining a couple of the small plants by the path.

Grand told me the first time he showed us, Tab and I, the garden, that his partner preferred a living plant over cut flowers. Grand needed to show his feelings after the sacrifice.

"How much matter conversion had your Grand done before this?" Doug puzzled.

"Nothing more than air, water and food", Patrick boasted with pride.

Doug, who had turned back to marveling at the garden, did a double take at Patrick. "No way...." Doug said half in shock. "Look at this place. Even with the size of this place, your grandfather made the garden seem to be even larger, with his use of varying heights of the plants." "This is not the work of a fledgling matter converter, it's of an artist. Now, I see why so many people wish to see it."

Patrick sighed deeply, "Ya, I wish Paul would not have talked so much about it."

"Do you wish you had not shown it to him?" Doug queried.

"No, it's not that. I know that Grand had wanted him to see it. It's just that I had not expected the flood of people and all the ways they would try." Patrick replied gesturing them toward a doorway almost over-grown with ivy.

Patrick opened the door and invited Doug to enter first. As Doug passed him in the doorway, Patrick's mind marveled again at how naturally gorgeous Doug looked. The smell of a man who had been working hard in the fresh air of a garden lingered in the air and lifted Patrick's body and floated him through the entrance to his home.

They stood in the middle of a very open room, walls stretching upward as if to the sky, Doug's eyes tracked down from the high wooden beams supporting the domed ceiling toward the far wall were an overpowering portrait of Patrick's grandparents unquestioningly separated the ceiling from the wall.

Patrick slipped past the marveling Doug to the left side of the portrait and planted Esmerelda in her stand. Patrick turned and said, "Make yourself at home. I REALLY have to change into some fresh clothes."

As Patrick disappeared down the hallway to the right of the portrait, Doug drifted over to Esmerelda. Doug analyzed the stand she rested in. It looked much like an old umbrella stand but was made out of branches weaved together and standing waist high. Esmerelda blended into it almost taking the form of a sculpture.

Doug walked past the short end of a coffee table, hardly noticing the large circular mirror with its black shadowed outline. His eyes fixed on a huge window out looking onto the garden. The large opening drew Doug right back into amazement of the simplistic complexity. Ivy covered the wall.

Doug looked over his left shoulder noting the breakfast bar and three bar stools, separating the kitchen from the large room that he stood in. He gazed only moments before a fresh breeze captured attention back to the ivy framed window to the garden. The air held the scent of fresh plants, it was not recycled. "Even with all the plants I have at home, my place still smells like my socks." "What is this?" he thought, "Isn't this a window, is it an open hole into the garden?" The truth struck him as he lifted his head to take another deep breath. Patrick built into his home a large window, but perched right above the window he had a place a smaller rectangle that had become overgrown with ivy from outside in the garden, hiding it from view. Through the opening with the help of a large ceiling fan came all the freshness of the garden.

Patrick returned in his most comfortable relaxed gauze shirt and pants. Once again, Patrick's mind wondered off into admiration of Doug's naturally muscular body. Patrick jarred his mind back into gear, "what you looking at?"

Doug started his reply as he turned to face Patrick, "I was just....." As Doug's eyes caught sight of what Patrick's clothes, his mind melted and he slipped over to Patrick. "How are you able to look so delicious?" Doug asked as he circled Patrick like a starving vulture circles its quarry.

Patrick could see the 5 year old from Doug's pants slide its way into Doug's smile. Blushing, Patrick slipped into the kitchen and offered Doug a drink. "What were you looking at before I came out?" Patrick repeated as he pulled two glasses and began to fill them with juice from the fridge.

Smiling Doug started, "Changing the subject, huh? I had just realized that your Grandfather had passed on some of this creativity."

"How do you mean" Patrick queried as he handed Doug the juice and gestured them over to the livingroom.

Doug pointed up to the ivy covered opening over the window, "That, how did you think of doing such a cool thing with the window and opening over it, and then covering the opening with ivy from the outside garden?"

Patrick beamed, "Well the ivy had a mind of its own, I just made the opening, it covered the opening all on its own."

As Patrick finally allowed himself to relax and just talk with Doug, suddenly he heard the beeping of an incoming message. Patrick excused himself and went to the wall near the kitchen where the view screen opened from within the wall. Doug picked up the empty glasses from the floor and walked past Patrick as Paul appeared on the screen. Patrick turned slightly as Doug passed and smiled a "thank you" at Doug. "What can I do for you Paul?" Patrick politely asked.

"I'm sorry to interrupt anything, but I need to speak with you Pat", Paul's face showed the seriousness of the call.

Patrick suddenly found himself grow extremely self-conscious and replied, "You're not interrupting anything, Paul. I was just talking with Doug about becoming the caretaker of the family garden. What do you need to speak to me about?"

"It's something that I really have to talk to you about, in-person, not over a view-screen. And it can't wait, when could you come to the Founders' Council Room?" Paul's voice sent shivers up Patrick's spine.

"I will be RIGHT there" although Patrick possessed natural empathic abilities, he could not read Paul. Paul built superior emotional walls which even Patrick could not slip by, only his Grand ever seemed able sneak past Paul's walls.

Patrick turned to Doug, "I'm sorry but something is seriously wrong, I could tell it in Paul's voice. I MUST go now. Please stay as long as you would like. I don't know how long I will be though." Patrick rushed out, feeling very guilty for how he knew Doug felt from his earlier comment to Paul about him.

Doug stood for a moment in shock and pain, then started talking to himself, "Well, as long as I'm here, I may as well take a better look at the garden." As he finished his comment he heard behind him a THUMP, turning around he saw that Esmerelda had went from leaning toward the corner in her stand to leaning out in a direction exactly pointed at him. He smiled and said "Would you like to go with me?" Esmerelda fell out of her stand. "I'll take that as a YES" Doug grinned. Picking her up from the floor, Doug walked out into the garden. Doug's mind wondered around the hundreds of thoughts about Patrick, as his body wondered around the overgrown paths in the garden. Finally the thoughts condensed into a single question and the question burst from his lips, "What should I do about Patrick." As Doug looked out on the lake in the center of the garden almost as if he expected the lake itself to give him the answer, suddenly a voice came rolling across the face of the water.

The voice came across the ripples of the lake; deep, low and a little old in its tones, "Trust that he is enough like his Grandfather that he will be too stubborn to give you up."

"Who's there ?!?!" Doug jumped.

"Does it matter," the voice came back chuckling.

Doug relied authoritatively, "No one is allowed in this garden without permission."

"This is my garden, it was created FOR me, I need no other permissions" the voice echoed back.

"Kristoffer ?!?!" Doug drew the words out.

"Booooooooooo," came the voice almost laughing back.

Patrick arrived in the Founders' Hall, met at the entrance by Paul. "What's it, What's happened." "It's Tab isn't it?"

"Yes, but calm yourself, she is safe now."

"What happened," Patrick asked choking back tears from his out-of-control emotions.
"All we know right now is that she took a ship from the aliens space-port, that was under repair and not ready for such a long trip." "I received the message from the aliens this afternoon following the founders meeting." "The ship entered orbit and began automated landing, just as we began searching space with our minds." "Damned good thing too, if she had not gotten that computer set to automated landing, the ship would have just kept right on going off into deep space." "The oxygen supply apparently failed shortly after she had set the auto re-entry."

"But you said.." Patrick started to panic again, "..She was safe?!?!?"

"She is safe, Patrick. But she is not conscious yet, and the healers have done everything they can, now it's a matter for her to come back to us." Paul could see that Patrick's shock had him paralyzed again. "Let's go see her together, okay sweetie ?!?!"

Patrick nodded. Paul pulled Patrick under his arm and they went off to the transport tubes. As they walked from the transport tubes in the healing dome, Paul tried to distract both of their minds from the situation by asking Patrick if he had heard the new band, "Snugglers" and how their music and performance reminded Paul of an old earth band.

Patrick could feel now Paul's real emotions. Patrick knew that if he could get past Paul's emotional walls, that meant that Paul's feelings were in overload. Patrick knew that Paul thought of him and Tabetha as his own family. Grand had made sure of that before his death. Although Paul had multiple partners over the years, none of them had been right for starting a family. But Grand would not allow Paul to be without a family in the Community.

As they entered Tabetha's room the frightening reality of what had happened struck. Tabetha's body laid there breathing but feeling hollow of the person she had become. "The healers aren't sure why she hasn't woken up yet. But I have made it perfectly clear to them that I will personally beat the crap out of them all if they allow anything bad to happen to her," Paul gave a half hearted smile.

Patrick knew that Paul was saying it to try and lighten the situation, at the same time, Patrick also knew that Paul had been about that blunt to the healers. Patrick asked to be alone with Tabetha.

"Always have to get everyone's attention, huh Tab ?!?!" Patrick said. "You have to wake up and tell me what it was that you had discovered," Patrick grinned, "It's not fair to wake me this morning and then pull this when you get my attention."

Patrick's mind drifted back in time to how they would spend time with their Grandparents when their parents were working together in the communication center. And how Tabetha took after Kristoffer so much and how he connected more with Grand. He remembered how he had felt when they had lost their parents and then a day later Kristoffer. Regretting all the years they lived with Grand and how he hadn't been able to really understand the loss that Tabetha had felt. For the short time after Grand had passed and before Tabetha left for the alien's home world, they had finally found the understanding of each other. Tab had lost everyone that she shared characteristics with in the plague, and Patrick had been lucky and still had Grand. After his passing Patrick had felt the isolation and loneliness that he had sensed in Tabetha for so many years. "Alright Tab, rest for now, you're back home, take the rest you need then come back to me." Patrick bent down and kissed her forehead and adjusted the blanket over her.

"I told Esmerelda to look after the family" Kristoffer's voice echoed thru the garden.

"It's impossible you're dead," Doug said still trying to convince himself.

"The words 'not possible' are for people that believe they know everything, when you accept that you don't know everything you will be open to all the wonders that the universe has to offer you." Kristoffer replied.

"But 'WHY' then ?!?!" Doug questioned.

"Esmerelda could see your importance in Patrick's life. She can't speak so she helped me come thru to say what she already knew." Kristoffer explained. "And right now, Patrick is entering a time when he needs you and yet the stresses that he's about to face might make him try and push you away." Kristoffer could see Doug's confusion. "Just trust me, it will make sense in time." "We did our best to make sure our daughter and our grand kids know what LOVE is, and the way to see TRUE love from other feelings. Just don't let his or YOUR fears stand in the way." "Patrick is like his other Grandfather, he has to be given time to realize how deeply he feels. It took several months for his Grandfather to realize what I knew from the instant we met. Just as you instantly knew it the first time with Patrick" Kristoffer's voice trail off. The sound of the 'splish, splish' of the lake licking the shores rolled over his fading voice. "I miss the oceans of earth, it's a pity you children never got to see them. They were a lot like 'True Love'" Kristoffer's voice disappeared again into the sound of the lake.

Doug could feel that he was alone again. Some how Esmerelda got loose from his grip, she bopped him in the head. "Okay, Okay" Doug said with a grin, and they walked off back to Patrick's home. Doug hadn’t realized how tired he was until he replaced Esmerelda back in her stand. "I'll just take a quick nap and then go back to do a little more work in the Eden garden." Doug was out in seconds.

Patrick jumped as he turned on the lights, there was Doug, curled up with the family quilt over him. Starring at Doug, Patrick marveled at how such a strong rugged stone of a man transformed into an innocent helpless child when sleeping. How does sleep allow people to see the eternal 5 year old in people?!?!

As Doug woke and Patrick stood there in only the gauze top that he had put on earlier, Patrick could see that eternal 5 year old move from Doug's Face, down into Doug's shorts. "I didn't realize hoe much I liked that shirt earlier" Doug grinned.

"I didn't expect you to still be here" Patrick replied tiredly.

"After I took a walk in the garden with Esmerelda, I came back in and sat down for just a moment and I just passed out." Doug answered. "So what did the founder want to talk with you about?"

Patrick replied, "Tabetha"

"What, did she do something wrong on the aliens home world?!?!" Doug jumped to the only concern he knew others had about this initial contact with the aliens.

"She stole a ship and retuned here today. She's physically okay, but she's not waking." Patrick said in his bravest voice.

"Let me run back to my place for a few things and I'll be right back", Doug said in his deepest concerned voice.

"You don't need to do that, Doug", Patrick said again trying to remove the need in his voice.

"You are NOT going to be alone tonight" Doug said as he gave Patrick the most loving hug that Patrick could ever remember feeling.

"Thank you", Patrick forced the largest smile he could make.

Doug returned in only a few moments with a duffle bag. As he slipped into bed behind Patrick he spooned in tight. Patrick started fading off, held tight in Doug's strong embrace. Doug whispered a little apology for his "5 year old's" reaction to being so close to Patrick, and joined Patrick in blissful sleep.

Patrick woke slowly, his mind grasping small facts one by one: the smell was that of his family garden, sheets were that of his own bed, the pillow he was cuddling was not Doug. Patrick slide slowly out of his bed tossing the pillow over himself back onto the bed with disappointment. He grabbed his robe from the back of the bathroom door, his feet dropping disappointment all the way to the kitchen where he found Doug had made a fresh pot of coffee. A slit grin hit him as he though of how thoughtful Doug was to do such a thing. Turning his back to the coffee machine and leaning against the counter, the first sip of coffee hit his lips, the fresh warm flavor shook the sleep from his mind. "Why would Doug leave the door into the garden open?" Patrick’s mind wondered. Patrick’s feet lightened with hope, moved forward through the door into the garden walking the path looking for Doug, as he continued the delight of drinking coffee that stood waiting for him to wake.

Doug emerged from around a large flowering bush, his hands and clothes stating without question that he had been hard at work in the garden. As they both stood for the longest second, Doug marveled at how attractive Patrick looked. Patrick’s long hair slightly curled from sleeping still seemed to have a flow to it, which merged into the flow of his long silk robe, open in the front exposing his perfectly smooth chest.

Patrick spoke first, "Thank you for the coffee, I needed it this morning".

Doug grinned, "You’re welcome, I didn’t want to wake you this morning, but I wanted to get a little work done in your garden before I had to leave this morning. Glad you woke before I had to leave."

"So am I", Patrick said over the lip of his coffee cup, "How soon must you leave."

"Do you remember the flower bed I was working when you found me yesterday?" Doug asked rhetorically as he brushed the dirt from his shirt, "I promised Kevin that I would have that bed re-planted yesterday. So I really need to get over to the Eden garden before Kevin goes to the Council Chamber this morning."

"Would you like me to start a shower for you?" Patrick asked hoping to be able to do something for Doug.

"That would be nice, I’ll just put away my tools here and be in", Doug said giving Patrick a peck on the cheek. Doug watched Patrick flow back into his house, releasing a large loving sigh, he turned to put away his gardening tools.

Patrick laid out a fresh towel and grabbed Doug’s soiled clothes. "Doug, I’m going to clean up your clothes real quick", Patrick said over the sound of the shower.

"Thank you", drifted Doug’s voice, out of the steaming shower. Patrick stood for a moment holding Doug’s clothes, debating if he should join Doug in the shower. The outline of Doug’s body showing through the shower door, the sound of the water rolling off his body, the smell of the bar of soap that rolled across his firm body. Practicality won, Patrick turned and quickly went off to clean Doug’s clothes before he finished showering.

Patrick opened the bathroom door to return the clothes that he had cleaned with his transformation abilities, at the instant that Doug stepped out of the shower dripping with water and wiping the water from his face.

"Thank you, sweetie", Doug said giving Patrick a solid deep kiss. Patrick melted.

Patrick’s hand slowly slipped down Doug’s wet chest. "My pleasure", Patrick sighed, "I changed the color of the shirt so that no one would think you were wearing the same clothes as yesterday."

"I don’t care if they did think that, but thank you." Doug replied, drying himself with the soft white bath-towel.

Patrick put his hand up on Doug’s chest again and slowly letting it drift down his chest again, "I’ll let you get dressed."

"Yes you are a bit of a distraction", Doug joked.

Doug departed with a loving kiss and hug. Patrick turned and his auto-pilot of daily rituals kicked in, as his mind wondered over his feelings for Doug.

It was another council meeting day, and as Patrick approached the council chambers he ran into Kevin again.

"Hi Patrick, how are you holding up. I heard about Tabetha." Kevin’s voice alone carried so much empathy, it took Patrick off-guard and almost made him loose his fragile self control.

"I never realized your empathic powers were so well developed." Patrick tried side-tracking the conversation.

"Your grandfather never told you the story about how I became part of the council?" Kevin queried.

"He only said that you were added to give the working people more input on the council’s decisions." Patrick replied.

"I always assumed that he had told you and Tabetha about it, but I suppose we were only teenagers at the time." Kevin said lowering his head and gesturing to a bench. Patrick could tell that this would not be an easy story for Kevin to tell.

Kevin sat next to Patrick and started the story with, "You are looking at the first person of the community to have to be punished for actions against others."

Patrick’s face turned white, "You mean……"

"Yes my birth-name was Lance", Kevin stared at his feet as he continued, "It was after the great plague, and it was your Grandfather that saved my live by choosing what punishment I was to serve."

"Saved your live?!?!", Patrick’s forehead puzzled.

"You see there had never been a crime against another before, we had not established yet what the punishments for wrong-doing were, and after my terrible act, some wanted to throw me out of the community to die on the surface."

"How could anyone suggest such a punishment?!?!", Patrick asked.

"Don’t judge the suggestion too hard", Kevin continued, "the members of this community had worked very hard to build what we have today. The fear of loosing all that they had built and collapsing into the chaos that we escaped, is more than enough reason to jump to the most extreme solution."

Kevin looked up and deep into Patrick’s eyes, "I owe your family more than just my life though, if it wasn’t for your grandfather’s suggested punishment, I would have probably lost my soul also."

Patrick became quite uncomfortable with the feelings from Kevin, and the feeling that somehow Kevin wished to repay his debt that to Patrick’s family.

"You know of the drug Empox?" Kevin asked, sensing Patrick’s discomfort.

"Yes that is the first drug that the community created to enhance our empathic powers." Patrick replied, proud in his knowledge of the communities’ history.

"Exactly", Kevin replied, "But it took your grandfather to see it as more. He combined the power of Empox and the secrecy of the confessional box (which came from an ancient earth religion before it was abolished by world health organization). I spent the three months in the service side of that box, with my victim and his family coming almost every day for the first month. I never stopped to care about how others felt. I could feel their emotions some yes, but before the Empox, I could always ignore it and continue with my selfish actions. Your grandfather’s solution truly could not have worked better."

Your grandfather made sure that everyone in the community knew of this new creation although he explained it as just a place for people to go to that needed a caring voice to listen to them. Your grandfather sold the people of the community on it well, there are few buildings now in our community that do not have a "chamber of caring". He never told the community and it’s still a guarded secret, that these chambers are used to rehabilitate our people. I also think your grandfather also made a point to invite especially those that my selfish childhood had hurt. I completed my punishment with many tears for others. It surprised me how much I actually missed it."

"So that’s why you volunteer to help staff them", Patrick sounded as if a great universal mystery had just been solved.

"Yes, I admit it the increase in my empathic powers and the chance to help someone else, created a strong drive in me", Kevin smiled, "But your grandfather knew it would."

"You have invested a lot of trust in me, by telling me your story. I don’t know what to say." Patrick’s gaze dropped to the ground. "I don’t have enough chaos in my mind already, I take and hide the facts about Doug from Kevin, and then Kevin goes and tells me his most private fact of his life. AUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH", Patrick’s mind screamed.

"Well, Patrick I didn’t tell you that story to make you uncomfortable, I’m sorry if it had that effect. The reason I wanted you to know is because I wanted you to know how genuinely I want to help your family. If you need help with anything, while Tabetha is ill, just ask." Kevin said as he reached over to give Patrick a one-armed hug of encouragement. Standing up Kevin said with a devilish grin, "Shall we go inside and see what the old men want to disagree about today?"

Patrick began to stand, bent back for Esmeralda, broke a smirk and said, "Why not."

As Patrick and Kevin entered the council room, the loud voice of Paul boomed out of the center of the standing members, "Over my worm infected rioting corpse you will !!!" The conversation died the instant the first member saw the two newcomers enter the room. Paul brushed his way out from the center of the group. "Kevin may I have a word with you" he asked rhetorically as he pulled Kevin with him outside the room.

Patrick un-easily took his chair and asked, "what’s going got Paul so worked up?" The remaining council members suspiciously dodged Patrick’s gaze, as they shuffled into their respective seats. Patrick knew that look, it was the look he and Tabetha used to have when they got caught doing something they shouldn’t. The tension of the minutes grew until broken by Kevin and Paul re-entering the room. Each made a point to go over to Patrick and give him a ‘hang-in-there manly neck squeeze’ before taking their seats on opposite sides of the perfectly square council table, Kevin to the left and Paul to the right. As Paul seated himself, Patrick could still see Paul’s anger remained.

"Someone better explain what is going on", Patrick declared, as he pulled his long hair back and tied it with a leather lace he always cared with him.

"Well", Paul stated, "You don’t expect me to tell him what his LOYAL family friends were just suggesting". Patrick could almost taste the disgust, when Paul said the word "Loyal".

Slowly and cautiously several of the members of the council began to mutter lines of information, almost as if it were a rehearsed theater performance time for each line to directly follow the last.

"Since the message from the aliens that your sister had stolen a ship and was last seen returning to us, the aliens have not accepted any further communication."

"We’ve spoken with the caretakers at the healing dome and they say that Tabetha still is showing no sign of change in her condition."

"She recorded nothing into the ship’s computers about why she was returning or why she had stolen the ship."

"We all have the greatest respect for her, her scholastic achievements, and your family and all that it’s done for this community."

To Patrick’s surprise, Kevin and Paul made a "puh" sound in stereo to the last statement.

"We must know what happened, if we are to try and apologize for what has happened."

"There is only one way that we can get this information. We must probe her mind, even if it means segmenting her memories into hundreds of layers."

Patrick’s shock could not be contained, even inside his mind’s walls, even the least empathic of in the room could hear Patrick’s heart almost break in the thought that another member of the community would suggest such a thing be done, let alone to his sister. "You are suggesting we destroy the ONLY mind disciplined enough, to be given permission to visit the alien’s home world."

No one in the council room needed to be empathic to feel Paul’s emotions about those members that were suggesting this idea. He words delivered his feelings without question. "They are like addicts, who have had their drug with-held by their dealers. They don’t know what to do without daily dose of alien communications."

The statue of Patrick remained in his family’s seat on the council, still trapped in its amazement of what had been suggested. Suddenly as if struck with a lightening bolt the statue moved. Standing Patrick’s eyes fixed on Esmeralda and the pain in his heart began to spill over his minds walls also. Fighting back the watering eyes, Patrick laid her down on the council table. "Esmeralda, You try and see if you can remind them of what our family as already done and given to this community. Maybe then they will reconsider asking for yet more from us." With those words, the crumbling statue walked out, leaving the family staff there, staring at all those that had agreed that Patrick should give them permission to proceed. Esmeralda wouldn’t release even Kevin or Paul from her gaze.

Patrick’s fog drifts him around the Eden garden over almost every square inch of the garden until he found himself finally sitting on one of the benches of the garden near the spot that he had met Doug working on the flowers. In his fog of emotions he didn’t even notice. "I should go back in there and get her" he thought gazing at the council building. "I shouldn’t have left her alone with them". Patrick pulled his council robes around him as if he was cold even though the sun was shining directly on him thru the dome.

Doug put his tools away and thought to himself, "There! I should go over to the council building and see if Kevin has arrived yet or if I got this finished before he noticed." As he walked down the path to the building, dusting off the little parts of dirt and dust he had gotten from the work, and suddenly he sensed it…..Patrick……something is wrong. Looking up, he saw him sitting there on the bench. "Patrick?!?! Are you okay? What’s happened?"

Patrick hadn’t seen or felt Doug approach but the fog in his mind was so thick that he didn’t even jump from the startled feeling. "Hey, no I’m not okay, and I don’t think I can even repeat what has happened."

"It’s not Tabetha, is it, something hasn’t happened with her condition?" Doug could feel Patrick’s deep hurt and desperately tried to probe through the fog and reach him.

Sat, 26 Oct 2002 10:04:25 GMT

Well it's finally hit me also. Yet another gay man stereotype trait comes true. I've started working on my "family tree". It only took owning the software for 2 years before starting work on it.

I guess there is something in my subconcious that has to find outlets to the frustrations with living in a culture/country that does NOT recognize my relationship. I know of a lot of marrages (including some within my own family-tree) that didn't last as long as I and my partner. We'll be hitting our 4th anniversary in January.

Luckily the software, that I am using for my family-tree building, does allow for relationship outside of the old husband-wife relationships. I should have began this tree so many years ago. I have already lost all the living members of my father's family. Some days that really eats at me.

Recently have even talked with one of my sisters about memories of our father that haunt us. Out of years and years the one thing that I can't shake is hearing my father's voice, when I say: "Ni Night"

Of one uncle, I remember him at auction sales digging thru the pot-luck boxes. He was happiest when he was "scroundging" for a bargin.

Of another uncle, I remember how he touched everything and how I could see the loving caring man inside him even though he had diffuculting speaking his heart.

Isn't is strange how the mind remembers and attaches so much to the stranges of memory hooks. I've sometimes wondered what quirky memory of me, others' minds might connect me to, when I finally move on past this life.

I got into a interesting question recently with my one sister. I had long understood the old idea that our thoughts are limited to our laungage. In our conversation I realized that also held true for ideas or concepts. If we have a thought or idea and we don't share that with others, it limits THEIR thoughts because they can not expand or concieve other thoughts or ideas base on our thought without first having it also. Without the sharing of thoughts and ideas we are all limited to what we ourselves have.

Okay have I think I need sleep now before I get REALLY deep. ;-)

The Community (full story)

Wed, 25 Sep 2002 09:02:58 GMT

The Community is a short science fiction story that I have been writing as a way to express myself in writing which has always been a relief of creative energies.
Copyrighted, All rights reserved.

Main Charactors

Patrick = brother of Tabetha, long hair, naturally empathic.
Tabetha = sister of Patrick, called Tab only by her brother.
Grand = pet name for Patrick's and Tabetha's only surviving grandfather.
Kristoffer = founder, first leader of "the community", grandfather to Patrick and Tabetha who had already passed away.
Esmerelda = family walking staff originally belonging to Kristoffer and then Grand, has become a symbol of their family, holds metal focusing powers, seems to know things beyond human insights.
Arazha = founder, creator of computer software allowing home computers to be combined into a global supercomputer used to forecast weather and climate changes.
Knight = historical figure, holding a dark role, in the creation of "the community".

Chapter 1: The Search for Grand

Patrick and Tabetha rushed through the community, excusing themselves as they bumped into people celebrating in the community garden. Patrick found it hard to focus on the search for Grand with all the excitement in the air. But Tabetha refused to allow her brother to slip away with his friends. She knew that Grand would not miss the community’s founding festival without a very good reason and she required the reason if she or her brother were to enjoy the day of founding.

"Tab, please lets just go to the community hall and wait for Grand there." Patrick pleaded.

"NO, something is wrong and we must find him." Tabetha snapped back, knowing all too well that Patrick wanted to go to the community hall because the community festival centered there.

The community garden, which they searched, sat right in the center of the oldest of all the community’s habitation buildings. The founders referred to this building as having been the single building that gave birth to the entire community. They named it Eden as it had once contained the entire population of the community and everything brought with from the birth planet. Patrick and Tabetha knew that Eden's central garden now served only as a decorative garden and not the life giving oxygen creation purpose that it served on when the first of the founders made it to this planet. The garden itself sat in the center of Eden just as Eden sat at the center of the entire community. Thousands of buildings stretched out for miles in every direction the center of a great spider web.

"Something about the way Grand feels is just not right" Tabetha said as if almost speaking to herself.

The fear in her voice could not be hidden from her brother. Patrick knew at that moment that the reason he hadn’t been able to pull away, his sister’s empathic gifts were better trained than anyone of her age. Struggling to get control of his own concerns, Patrick pulled his long sandy brown hair back into a ponytail. He always felt more in-charge and ready to take on the universe after getting control over his hair. Tabetha always viewed his obsession with his hair as a fault.

"I can feel him, he wants to be alone" he stated in his most authoritative voice.

"What are you saying, that we shouldn't even look for him because he doesn't want us to?" Tabetha snapped back, her fear overwhelming her concerns for how this would make her brother feel.

Patrick could sense Tabetha's fear and did not take her snap personally, instead only crossed his arms and looking deep into her eyes said: "No, of course not. But if you wanted to be alone where would you go on Community Festival Day?"

"OF COURSE!!!" she said slapping the palm of her hand on her forehead, "why didn't I think of that"

Both rushed off to the edge of Eden's garden to where the transportation tubes hummed. They jumped onto it pressing a few quick buttons on their wristbands.

There came a voice echoing from both their wristbands, "You are attempting to enter a restricted area, enter your authorization code." They both knew that they would have to give their authorizations quickly before the transportation system rejected their destination.

Again their wristbands echoed in stereo, "Thank you, your access code has been approved". Blinking, they arrived in a second transportion tube within the dimly light garden they had selected.

Grand created this garden while still grieving for his loss, during it's creation he allowed no one access. Many of his fellow founders had asked upon its completion, to see the wonders of the garden. Patrick and Tabetha knew that when Grand had given them both access codes for this garden upon their last birthday, Grand not only considered them adults, but also place them above even the founders of the community. They had only once gone to the garden, and then only to acknowledge the gift. Grand's garden possessed a strange reverence.

The tube doors sighed and the smell of the sweetest flowers and fresh air greeted the two teens. Patrick froze, struck with amazement at his eyes. This entire building was one huge garden, and unlike most of the buildings of the community, this garden was on the surface and had a transparent domed ceiling. Patrick doubted his eyes for none of these reasons, instead, the sky held his trance. Patrick never before had seen a sunset, let alone one with the range of colors that were in the sky tonight. Patrick had seen some buildings in the community that had painted the ceilings with great artwork but none could compare to what he saw before him.

Shaking themselves free of the astonishment they quietly stepped onto the dirt path and as they looked off into the distance of the building they saw lights flicker on as the light faded from the sun. Patrick trying to act authoritative again, announce, "He should be at the center of the garden."

"Of course he will be, that’s the only place for him to sit down," Tabetha bitterly snarled back.

The clearing was just coming in to view and suddenly the lights went out. Startled they both ran forward into the clearing.

"Tab, I should have known that you would notice my absence from the common mind", rolled a low voice from the dimly light gazebo.

Tabetha always loved Grand’s voice, like the voice of god, mother, and Moses all rolled into one. None of founders possessed a voice that held the respect that her Grand’s voice conjured. Tabetha stopped to locate exactly where the voice came from and then rushed forward to her Grand.

Chapter 2: The Garden

"We were worried about you," spoke Tabetha as she took her spot next to Grand on the bench.

"We don't mean to disturb you Grand, if you wish to be alone we'll go," Patrick shyly mumbled. He knew his Grand well enough to know that Grand would never send them away even if he did wish to be alone.

"No, no Pat, my boy, come sit with us," Grand said waving Esmerelda, his walking stick, to the opposite side of where Tabetha perched.

Patrick hesitated for a moment and then with a very large grin plopped down at his Grand’s feet, resting back against the bench.

"You arrived just in time for the greatest show, Pat. The stars are chasing away the sun and as it rushes away from them it has left behind all the colors of the imagination." Grand pronounced gesturing to the heavens with his staff.Although they sat in a gazebo, it had no roof like most, so it looked up into the heavens.

Tabetha couldn't shake the feeling that Grand felt a loss. She knew of nothing that he had lost recently, although she knew this place brought back slit pains of loss to him. Grand looked down from the dome and softly in his ancient voice whispered, "You don't want to miss the first star break through". She frowned slightly, she knew that he had felt her concern for him, and wanted to distract her from probing deeper. She looked up at the top of the dome just in time for Patrick to point out the first star twinkling slightly in the fading sunset. All three stopped and allowed the wonder of the universe flood over then at seeing one by one the stars pop forward into view.

Patrick looked up from the place he had made at his Grand's feet, "Tell us again about the founding of the community." A glow filled Grand's face, his eyes twinkling like he had caught a couple stars in them. He filled with pride on being asked to tell this story, he knew it meant that he help raise Patrick and Tabetha right. Feeling the change in her Grand's mood, Tabetha chimed in, "Yes Grand, tell us again about how we came to make this place our home".

The game began, now Grand had to take his turn. Grinning he chuckled, "No you have heard that story hundreds of times before, how about another?" Patrick took his turn, "No Grand we want to hear about our past". Tabetha excited from the game she remembered from her childhood, jumped in with her turn, "Please Grand, tell us". They used to play this game for much longer in the past but Grand appeared to want to tell the story tonight, and broke down. "Okay get comfortable you too, and I'll tell you about the birth of the community".

Grand cleared his throat and leaned forward on Esmerelda and began the long look back in his mind.

Chapter 3: The story begins

It started many years before our community left earth. In those days the people of earth still choose to have separate governments and differences in speech and culture. The earth's computer networking rushed forwarded at such a pace that no one could keep up with it. We called the global computer network the Internet. The large businesses began to change their computer designs to make use of the growing distributed processing power of home computers connected to this network. Even the world governments started changing from huge rooms full of computing power and turning the home computers into the processing power of low security data.

Founder Arazha actually created the first global weather forecasting using one of those old distributive-processing networks. Our community owes him more than any other founder, including me.

Tabetha looked up at Grand, sensing his loss again. "We wish he had come with us too, Grand."

Grand lovingly focused back at present and looked down at his feet where Tabetha and Patrick were sitting engrossed in his story. A smile again grew from wrinkled ear to wrinkled ear. Grand's hand eased itself from Esmerelda, as his body shifted its weight to continue the delicate balance of support, to cross Tabetha's young cheek. Tabetha reached up with on hand as her head instinctively tipped toward Grand's caress, his shaking hand felt so frail yet so loving. Grand's face suddenly showed that he realized that his story faltered. Grand slowly drew back into his former position and continued.

Everyone on earth began sensing that a sudden change loomed ahead but no one seemed to talk about it. I've wondered why no one voice their feelings many times, never came up with a good explanation. I felt that looming change from about the turn of the millennium. I'd told you about the crazy way that the people of earth behaved at that time. So at the time, I just told myself that I feared the stupidity of others.

Tabetha chuckled and Patrick snickered.

I should have listened to my senses better, but as I've told you two many times before the people of earth did not recognize that the powers that they could not see with science. I had already started many friendships with people you now know as Founders, I lived inside a computer. Those long distance friendships gave birth to my trusting more in my empathy, that and the constant prodding by Kristoffer to trust in my gifts.

Grand's eyes gazed up at the night sky, now filled with a dazzling show of stars. The dim glow of the garden lighting system through the trees and flowerbeds cast such an aura on him that Patrick and Tabetha both sat fixed on his every word.

Grand broke the spell momentarily by clearing his throat and adjusting his lean on Esmerelda.

Among the earth's governments the most widely influential country still called itself the United States, by that time it's people were far from united. I came from that country. The people of earth killed each other in the name of religion, language, ancestry, but all those killings were kept in a local area and hadn't spilled into a global war for many years. Naturally, the people of earth created more and more organizations to support their hatreds and mistrusts. The United States created the largest and most paranoid of these organizations, which called themselves nationalists' (they weren't very original in their thoughts either).

The nationalists' organization spawned the man that ultimately could be called the force that created our unity. Thomas Knight, he could speak that I have to acknowledge. But he had allowed his heart to be twisted with hate and fear of things he didn't understand. He rallied the other fear groups, until he had thousands believing that our founders and thousands others like them caused all the evil in the world. I would have almost respected Knight for bringing the people together into a single goal, if his goal wouldn’t have been to rid the world of us. Don't think to badly of the people of earth, my little ones, some people that knew their history tried to stop the hatred. Knight succeeded only because of timing of acts of nature.

The first, literally, fell from the skies. A meteor (at least everyone thought that was what it was for a long time) crashed into an ocean near the western shore of the united states. The great meteor forced down the earth’s sea floor with its weight. But seconds later the earth challenged the meteor and shoved back with a huge rush of molten rock from the heart of the planet, pushing the meteor up above the ocean floor. For days after the news of the planet showed the great meteor in the center of the cooling rock. It made me think of a great strawberry in the middle of a bowl of cereal. The universe created our communities womb there in that one stroke. The bowl island cooled rapidly, and was claimed by the United States even quicker.

Luckily for the world, Founder Arazha finished the global weather prediction system. The impact of the meteor created a year of very strange weather, and the news media camped on Arazha’s doorstep for weeks. They asked him, over and over, what tomorrow’s weather would be like and how his distributed processing software made the new forecasting system work.

He refused to admit to himself what the rest of the world knew; he possessed a great mind and a strong dedication to making life better for all. I'm sorry that you two even knew him, but his heart required him to stay on earth and take care of his family. Pat, my boy, you remind me a lot of him, unwavering in your dedication to those you love.

Where was I ?!?! Oh yeah, the freak things that allowed Knight to rise to his seat of power.

The second freak happening resulted from the first. A great convention of the world's most open-minded and caring leaders had commenced on the west coast of the united states. The tidal wave resulting from the impact of the meteor totally destroyed the entire west coast of the country taking the best of the earth's leaders with it.

Like the vulture, Knight took the worlds' grief and turned it to his feeding ground. He claimed that God punished the wicked people who lived on the west coast cities and their loose moraled leadership of those at the conference. All the hatreds and fears in one blow turned to give their power to Knight. He managed in that one media blitz to become the "Voice of Right", to the world of distrust.

Chapter 4: How it happened

Two important things came flourish in the following year.

Olympus, the name given to the meteor island because it seemed to have been created by god, sprang to bloom with the seeds of life that washed ashore on it from the reseeding waters of the tidal wave. Only the scientists appeared to take note. The second important fact that year popped out like a weed in the middle of a well-tilled garden of hate, the enforcement of "the moral code". Knight's organization won every political election that the United States held that year. He fertilized the ground with his slick oratories allowing huge choking roots to be put down by those that "spoke for god". By the end of the year our founders had began to see they could no longer live inside the country that once called itself "the land of the free".

Somehow Knight knew that if he continued imprisoning the people of the United States for breaking the "moral code" that he would loose the backing of his supporters. So in a great gesture of "good will" on Christmas day of that year he pardoned those convicted of breaking the "moral code" under the condition that they all leave the country, "taking with them their corrupt influence".

New Years Day marked the founding of our community on Olympus Island.

Chapter 5: Early Years

Although both Tabetha and Patrick had listened to this story hundreds of times before, they never tired of it, and both found themselves under the spell of Grand's story telling.

The first year of life on Olympus saw the death of many of us. Some from heartaches, some from lack of medical supplies (not the care we had more then enough trained in medicine) many just lost their faith. If it where not for the supplies delivered to the island, Knight would have had his wish come true.

The second year, Olympus sprang to life and with the bloom of the island the community also flowered. We organized, thanks greatly to Founder Kristoffer. We decided not to have any one leader, but truly, he focus the group more than any other. We found a solution to our financial problems in the vast knowledge and expertise of the community. In an extreme gesture of defiance of the Knight's Nationalist party, the socialist countries of the world started funding research into the meteor, giving us not only the funds but the equipment to do the analysis. We knew that they gave us these things only to upset Knight and his followers. But at those times we had to allow ourselves to be used in that way, to get the supplies that we needed to survive. Because Olympus lacked the resources and the room, the community chose to power all that equipment with renewable energies from the earth: waves, wind, and the sun. We advanced at an unbelievable pace that year. Before even the first shipment of research supplies arrived, the community agreed that we had to work as one and that everything belonged to the community, and that personal property would not be recognized for some time. So while the team of researchers were not busy using their equipment to study the meteor the rest of the community struggled for more ways to advance the community with it.

By the third year the community knew that it would survive and also that every member felt comfortable with having very few personal items owned by individuals. That year the socialist countries also launched an artificial satellite and positioned it over Olympus to give us access to the global computer network. Year 3, also marked the year that the meteor researchers found more than we shared with countries funding the research. And that year also marked the year that at my suggestion our community asked for help from Founder Arazha. He, because of his fame with the weather forecasting system and quite nature, had not been exiled with us. We possessed only the limited computing power, that the socialist nations had to offer, on Olympus. We needed much, much more if we were to find the answers to the questions that the meteor team possessed. Arazha gave us what we needed. People, from around the globe, rapidly downloaded the small program to their computers which gave them a cute little graphical display while it processed information for the fake company we established. No one but Arazha and community members on the island knew what information the program processed while peoples' computers sat idle. We sold processing power that same year to Knight's Nationalist party. We poured that money right back into the project by hiring specialist in encryption to really secure the information that people were processing.

Year four, we began putting the world's idle computers to work processing the meteor data. The security of that data became something that all of founders would die for, without question. We knew the importance of it even before we understood the information.

Chapter 6: What's so special about the meteor?

"Don't hold out on us, Grand. Tell us what the meteor researchers found. That's the best part." Patrick pleaded.

"Yes Grand, please." Tabatha chimed in.

"Now, now, my little ones. You don't want me to rush the story." Grand grinned as he did every time he told the story and he reached this point.

"Please Grand, tell us." Patrick and Tabatha begged in harmony.

"Okay" Grand said as he continued the story in pride.

The researchers of the meteor had were the first to find at the center of the great rock, there existed a great hollow center. No one had thought to look for this and the equipment had never been on the island before to do this kind of a scan. The entire community had worked around the clock, in shifts, to dig a tunnel out of site of spying eyes, into the center of the great rock.

And everyone had expected to find something at the center but no one expected to find the VAST cryptic writings that we found there. The writing resembled NO writing ever before seen by humans. We required help decoding all that information but we knew that we had finally found at the center of Olympus the resource to guard with our lives.

You can imagine our surprise that after all our work and our time guarding the secret, to find that it a alien communication instruction book.

We had spent almost four years sending out little pieces of the puzzle to computers throughout the world. We hide from the world, gathered our resources and worked together like none of man-kind had ever before on the planet earth. So at the end of 9 years of work, we posessed the key to the secret. But building the communication device struct the fear into us even beyond that of our secret being discovered by the world.

Chapter 7: Building the telephone

"How could you build that without the rest of the world discovering what you were doing?" said Patrick with a grin.

Grand looked at him with such a glow of pride and continued.

That questions puzzle us also, we remained under close monitoring by both those that sponsored our research and those that had expelled us to Olympus. We had to be careful, we were too close to allow our secret to be discovered by the rest of the world. We discovered as we searched for a solution, that the hallow center of the meteor was just barely large enough to hold the communication device and the operator.

The communication machines of earth used voice, picture and text, but the alien device connected directly into the mind with probes placed on the skin. As the machine construction began, the community went into the process of choosing who's mind would be connected to the alien device.

"You were the perfect choice, Grand", Tabetha glowed.

Grand looked down at her with a very thankful twinkle in his eye, and continued his story.

Yes my dear, that's what Kristoffer told me too as he nominated me without warning. I admit that I found the nomination very flattering, especially coming from him. He honestly felt that of all our community I possessed the best diplomatic skills. Everyone looked at me for a few moments, as if their brains were analyzing everything they had ever seen me do or say. I was elected before I realized they had not nominated anyone else. I still wonder if someone else would not have done better as the voice of our community. But it was done, I could not fight it.

We completed the construction at the end of the ninth year of our excile. On the anniversary of our expulsion we initiated the first message to the stars. The aliens responded instantaneously with a resounding, "Quiet your thoughts, and FOCUS them." I could not believe how almost musical their thought came through. Nothing prepared me for hearing their thought, and after hearing it I realized that my mind must have sounded like our Eden Garden sounds on a day like today. I spent the next month focusing and meditating to quiet my wondering, idle thoughts and fears.

The next attempt the aliens greeted me with thanks and asked to exchange histories. I had done it, but oh what had I done. They desired the entire recorded human experience. I passed their request on to the community, for our history. The community cheered me for only moments before Founder Kristoffer spoke, the communities history, or HUMAN history? The entire community fell silent, we all knew the answer. The aliens asked, as we would have, for the race history. The building of the device dwarfed in comparison to the task of compiling all human history for an alien audience.

Chapter 8: Getting to know our neighbors

Patrick broke his Grand's spell for a moment to take note of how envious his sister felt of Grand getting to be the first to speak with the aliens. He knew all too well that his sister wanted more than anything to make her name be remembered throughout the history of their community.

Tabetha snapped as she realized Patrick's mind touching hers. She knew her brother's interests were not her own and it bothered her sometimes when he would just look at her with those deep blue eyes. She envied him. He lived for others, but felt no need to be noticed by anyone. Tabetha got so annoyed by the fact that he could say he loved her with a single glance. She knew he loved her with all his heart and the fact that he could share his emotions so easily with no training, just like Grand, made her almost mad sometimes.

Grand noticed the exchange of feelings between his little ones, and looked deep into Tabetha's eyes and said, "Patrick may have my natural gifts, but your empathic powers are 10 times that of his, and even if it requires some training, you talents give you the ability to make your dreams come true also. Don't allow jealousy to take seed in your heart."

Tabetha looked up at her Grand with such humility as she knew his words held truth. "Continue the story Grand", she whispered.

Grand cleared his throat and returned to his story.

The community decided that while they compiled the rest of the human history for the aliens, that I should begin with the Bible. It was a good choice. The aliens loved it, several times in the following year they told me how the principles matched those of their own race.

That year we had the most devastating attach by terrorist loyal to Knight’s cause. They released a deadly virus on the island, killing many of us. The aliens couldn't understand it, when I tried to explain what others had done. They shared with us their knowledge of healing that year. Kristoffer easily learned how to share his life energies to cure others. That first knowledge from the stars has saved many of us over the years, and taken a terrible toll at the same time.

Patrick and Tabetha both could feel the heart wrenching grief in Grand's voice as he tried to quickly move forward in his story. They both shared in his grief and feelings of loss for a moment and tried to wash it away with the love they shared for each other.

That single act of terrorism turned the aliens to the belief that our community needed protection and preservation from the rest of our race, although they didn't tell us that at first. And over the next 5 years they shared many advances in medicine and empowerment of the mind. We found out in those years that their race held a mental connection that allowed all of their race to share their experiences, feelings, hopes, and dreams, with the rest of their kind. No one ever got ill because their entire race shared their energies to maintain the health of the whole. Their race could change matter or energy into whatever their minds desired, luckily they had no subconscious like ours. They shared the knowledge, of changing matter into other things of the same mass, with us last.

Chapter 9: The creation of Eden

After 10 years of sharing our information with them, the aliens let us know that they wished to protect us from the rest of our race. They had located a new world for us, the planet passed as a twin to earth except for ONE factor, our new world pocessed NO life.

They created the Eden habitat for us and transferred us here with one thought of their combined mind. We didn't realize how much energy they would have to spend to transport us. As we awoke in the center of Eden, they wished us well and told us they had to rest to get back the energy used to create Eden and transport us here. We were alone again.

We worked hard that following year, focusing our minds to create the needed food and air for our community. In second year of our life here, we regained contact with the aliens. They feared how slowly our population had grown, and shared with us one final secret: How two men could bear children without the aid of a female. I gave birth to your mother the following year.

We shared such joy those early years, any few of the community felt regret of leaving friends or family back on earth. The freedom and love that everyone could feel gave us all reasons to sing out in our hearts and minds. Patrick, your smile still reminds me of our mother. And Tab, your determination and strength brings back to me all the power she held. She took after me and dedicated her early life to communication with the aliens. I could hardly believe it when she brought your father home to meet us. He worked the shift after your mother at the communication room, and they had fallen in love with each other so quickly even they didn't realize it was happening.

I was so happy for her, yet I realized that I had lost touch with my daughters life. I started taking more shifts in the communication myself, just so I would see her more. The two of you were born a year after she had brought your father home to introduce him. It really was the "Best of Times", little did I realize the worsted of times loomed on the horizon.

Chapter 10: The Alien Virus

Two years after your mother brought you into this world, a virus hit the home world of the aliens. None of us realized that their virus would infect their transmission, let alone realize that it would mutate into a virus that would effect ever communication officer of the community.

Your parents were the first to show the signs of the virus. They were hit the hardest with it because of the fact that the two of them shared the majority of the time communicating with the aliens. I hope that the two of you never have to watch your children die.

As I stood by your mothers bed trying to heal her with my life energy, little did I realize that I too had been infected. Kristoffer knew it the moment he saw me at your mothers side. As I grieved your mother's passing, I took her hospital bed. Your father passed that night as I fell un-concious. I woke the following morning, feeling much better. Kristoffer had stayed with me all night, and had his head on my chest. I gentle ran my fingers through his hair trying to wake him. He moved very slowly as he woke to my touch. And whispered to me, "are you feeling better".

I said, "actually, yes I'm feeling much better".

"Good", he make an effort to grin slightly, "I couldn't live without you."

Suddenly I felt his emotions, "What have you done?"

"Shhhhhhhhh", he said struggling to put a finger to his mouth, "I always told you, that I loved you more than life itself".

"No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take back some of your energy! I can't live without you either!", I begged with tears in my eyes.

Patrick and Tabetha both could see the tears in Grand's wrinkled old eyes even as he said the words.

"We'll be together again soon, My love." he whispered back to me as his hand fell from his lips.

"No! Please No!!!!!!", I sobbed.

"Don't cry, we have always been partners and we will be again soon, wait for me, I will come back for you." his voice faded off as if even his voice was leaving the confines of his body.

I couldn't face the community after his death and I decided to create this garden in the memory of him and the love we shared, and the daughter we had lost. It took me so much time to build this place, it had to be perfect for him. Do you two remember how much of a perfectionist he was?

Patrick and Tabetha both chuckled and then said in stereo, "Yes we remember".

Grand took and ran his hands through his grandchilden's hair and said, "Now you two better get going there is a festival going on and you have to be there. We can't all be absent, our family carries responsibilities to this community also."

Tabetha said with a slitty displease expression, "Aren't you coming too?"

"I'll be with you two, soon", Grand reassured her, "I am always with you. I just want to sit here for a little longer". "Here Patrick, take Esmerelda with you, she always hated to be late to the festival", Grand said as he handed over the walking staff.

Patrick looked dazed for a moment and with almost shaking hands reached out to take the staff from his Grand. "But....", he started.

"Now, now, relax Patrick, she's just a energy focal point. She won't bight, as long as you treat her right. And Kristoffer always intended to pass her down through the men in our family." Grand knew this would be tough for Tabetha to hear. "Tab, would you explain to your brother that Esmerelda belongs to the family, and that I'm only asking him to hold it."

Tabetha knew that the words Grand spoke were not only to soothe her, but also were completely true. Kristoffer's focal point had become the family seal. She looked at Esmerelda and thought, no more than just a seal, she had become a energy focal point for the entire community.

"Pat, take her, he's only asking you to get her to the festival." Tabetha cokested. She knew that Grand desired Patrick to start representing their family in public matters. "Pat, you know that I will be leaving soon for the aliens home world and SOMEONE has to hold Esmerelda. She's a focal point for the entire community now."

Patrick reluctantly accepted the staff. As he held her, he knew that she could feel that he wasn't comfortable holding her. She would win him over.

Tabetha and Patrick got up to their feet and kissed Grand goodbye and headed back to the transporter. Patrick turned to Tabetha as they stepped onto the transporter and said, "I hope I can find someone to love as deeply."

Tabetha looked back at her brother with love, as she took his hand and Esmerelda into her own, "We do come from a family of true love, we know what to search for".

As the transporter hummed into operation, Grand looked up at the domed sky to see a shooting star streak by. "Ya Ya, I'm coming my love, I'm coming"

Tabetha and Patrick were shocked, as they materialized back in the Eden garden, to see standing in front of them all the Founders of the community. The Founders were equally shocked to see the two children materialize holding Esmerelda between them. They all spoke almost as one, "We were just going to go looking for your Grandfather."

Patrick once again pulled back his hair and cleared his throat and said very maturely, "Grand asked me to bring Esmerelda so that the community could start the Festival".

One of the Founders started to side-step Patrick on his intended way to the transporter. "I think we should go and help your Grandfather, he shouldn't miss out in the festival".

Suddenly, the lights throughout the community dimmed almost to candle-light intensity. The entire community looked up at the much smaller dome. A single shooting star raced passed. Patrick and Tabetha both heard very clearly their Grand's voice in their minds, "Always remember where this community came from. Always remember how we came together because others could not accept differences. And above all, ALWAYS remember that you come from the LOVE that lasts forever." The entire community felt the loss of Grand. At that exact moment, two shooting stars racing as if hand-in-hand. The lights failed. And the dome began bursting with shooting stars.

Patrick whispered, "They finally together again." Then raising Esmerelda with the help of Tabetha he burst out, "And love like their's was called evil and wrong on earth. Tell me, what human anywhere, does not DREAM of a love like that?" As the crowd of people erupted into a massive roar, the lights burst back into normal illumination. "Let us celebrate love this festival, and all that it had brought to this community", Patrick proclaimed. The mob of people clambered into full party at the proclamation. Patrick and Tabetha both knew that night they became more than just adults they became the symbols of their Grandparents love. Patrick ripped away from his sisters by his many buddies. And Tabetha pulled away from her brother by the Founders, who wanting to talk with her about her training and future trip to the aliens home world.

Thanks to my friend

Sun, 22 Sep 2002 02:04:02 GMT

Well thanks to my friend poetry_lady I am now online with my very own Journal. As this is my first post I'll keep it short and sweet.

Thanks Poetry Lady